Blood baroness

 

I had the opportunity to meet a descendant of James Montgomery Falsworth, the famous British superhero Union Jack, active until the Second World War. It was in one of the rooms of the family manor, north of London, that the charming Susan, grand-niece of Lord Falsworth, did her best to make me appreciate the charms of British hospitality. I had met her the day before in a pub in the capital. Like many young women in the kingdom, Susan was quite tipsy. In a very cheerful atmosphere, she kissed me on the mouth and, after a thousand caresses, offered me to take her back home. 

After a very surprising night, Susan seemed to be completely recovered from her inebriation the next morning. The mansion seemed empty. Susan told me that the family was away on a wedding in Scotland, and that she had stayed behind to guard the house as much as to escape a family reunion that was making her uncomfortable. I discovered a fragile, slightly troubled personality. She insisted on coming downstairs and preparing breakfast, which we ate in bed. 

I think that, since Michel Lang's unfortunate light and stupid comedy "A nous les petites Anglaises", the meetings between French and English women are a bit stereotyped. In short, this one-night stand suited my young age and my frivolous preoccupations of the moment, even if it did not seem destined for posterity. The slightly psychotic personality of my good friend appeared more and more clearly, as our conversation went on. I dealt with it, remaining polite.

At my request, Susan told me a few episodes of Union Jack's adventures, with some juicy family anecdotes that made the character interesting. Lord James Montgomery Falsworth, a peer of the realm, had been a hero in both wars. He had become an active agent of the British government, under the costumed superhero persona, Union Jack. The Falsworth mansion was the base of operations for a group of Great Bretons who fought alongside Captain America and other American superheroes against the Axis forces and various psychopaths with supernatural powers. James Montgomery Falsworth was, indeed, an athletic man, but he did not possess superhuman powers. Trained as a spy, a veteran of two world wars, he was, however, a highly skilled fighter. His suit was bulletproof and he carried a 6-inch silver dagger and a Webley revolver. 455, which he handled with great skill. The silver dagger served him well in dealing with vampires. As she said this, Susan had a strange expression. I noted, but did not show. During a battle, Baron Blood had crushed Union Jack's legs under a rock. Disabled, James Montgomery Falsworth had struggled for a few more years, in a wheelchair, before finally giving up. Union Jack, unlike many superheroes, had died in his bed.

Union Jack's daughter, Jacqueline Falsworth, thanks to a blood transfusion from the Human Torch, acquired an exceptional power of speed. She became the costumed hero Spitfire who operated until the early 1970s, before retiring herself. It is with her daughter Jacqueline that Union Jack left, during the Second World War, to rescue her son, Brian, captured by the Nazis. Brian Falsworth had acquired superpowers thanks to the help of a German scientist, opposed to Hitler's power, who had tried to recreate the formula of the super soldier that had led to Captain America. Brian became the costumed hero "Destroyer" and had developed strength and athletic ability, but suffered from constant pain. This condition led him to take various drugs in an attempt to survive the terrible pain. Unfortunately, he soon became addicted to heroin, cocaine, morphine and anything else that would allow him to escape the hell of a poisoned body. In fact, Destroyer became a miserable junkie. The Falsworth family's excellent relationship with the Home Office prevented Lord Falsworth from suffering the shame of a scandal, but Brian, a military intelligence officer, had access to classified information. It was impossible to risk leaking this information in the middle of the Cold War. So it is not certain that the car accident that caused his death in 1953 was not caused by MI-5.

I watched with concern as Susan metamorphosed and told me about "her uncle" Brian. The lovely Susan's tone had become strange, subtly threatening. When she suggested that her Uncle Brian was a "faggot, degenerate fucker who was being fucked by that midget Roger Aubrey," I became concerned. 

I felt tired. It could have been from an eventful night, but I was young and hadn't been drinking. It seemed to me that Susan was watching me, seemingly waiting. I remembered that she had insisted on coming down to bring me a tray for breakfast. Suddenly I realized that if Susan was Lord Falsworth's grandniece, she was... Probably the granddaughter of Baron Blood, the vampire who had turned out to be James Montgomery Falsworth's own brother! My blood ran cold, was Susan a vampire too? Despite my fatigue, I tried to think. I pretended to be faint, suddenly overcome by sleep. In a last apparent effort, I asked, "But Susan, aren't you Baron Blood's granddaughter?" Then I pretended to collapse.

Then, my sweet Susan, the one who had given me so much affection, definitely turned into a hostile demon. "Yes, asshole, I am the descendant of Baron Blood himself! I hate all those degenerates of the Falsworth family and I will taste your impure blood, as I have bled other young males before you! My grandfather was killed by that empty shell of a Captain America, but we vampires will soon have our revenge. We already own the world, most presidents obey the power of Satan. Soon, the coronavirus will allow us to take over the world and reduce you, puny humans, to livestock for our needs..."

I had heard enough, I suddenly stood up to deliver a well-fitting punch to her jaw. I was relieved to see her collapse, instantly. Gathering my last strength, I tied her firmly to the bed, then ran to the bathroom to vomit. I stayed at least an hour asleep under the cold shower before I could painfully gather my things to leave. Susan was looking at me, with an evil eye. I gave her another punch in the face to send her back to her morbid nightmares and left the mansion.